On this day, 11 years ago, I began my journey of freedom and sobriety. After shooting up 26 Roxy 30’s the night before, I woke up dope sick. My mind was racing and scheming about how I could get high again, but I was literally exhausted. I had spent the last two months knowing that I was either going to jail or rehab, and I had spent every day getting as high as I possibly could afford to get.
I had just celebrated Thanksgiving absolutely blown out of my mind and I was so ashamed that my family saw me like that. All of them, even my grandparents and my sister and her family. My mom and dad were used to it, but I had tried for years to keep my grandparents and sister in the dark as much as possible. They knew, but I didn’t want them to see me that way.
You see, I always knew better. If knowing better could have got me sober, I wouldn’t have been an addict. I knew that drugs were wrong, I just couldn’t stop. I didn’t understand addiction and had no idea at the time why I couldn’t just lay it down and start new. I didn’t know that the drugs had literally diseased my mind. I didn’t know that what started as partying and having “fun” would rob me of 13 years of my life. I didn’t know that I would spend the next 11 years (and still going) dealing with the emotions that I had bottled up my whole life.
I just didn’t know.
I woke up on this day, 11 years ago knowing that I was heading to treatment at Karen’s Place in a couple of days. I thought my life was ending and I was tired. Today, I call this a moment of surrender, but at that time I thought I was losing it all.
In fact, I did lose it all, only to gain more than I could have ever imagined.
The last 11 years have been a beautiful journey of surrender, healing, loving, growing and LIVING!
Every year I’ve been released from more and more limiting beliefs that had held me back my whole life only to receive healing, peace, love, excitement, enjoyment, freedom and pure joy.
On this day, 11 years ago, I had no idea that God's plan for my life was transpiring. On this day 11 years ago, I began my journey of freedom and living an abundant life.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, there is a solution. There is hope. I couldn’t do it alone and you aren’t expected to either. Reach out to me and I will help to get you connected to the resources that you need.